The Best Part (Is You) | Neyo
The best part of me has always been you..
say my name/cry me a river (mashup) | the neighbourhood (bbc radio 1 live lounge late)
All of my past relationships were old sweet teenage love. We flirted, got to know each other, and fell in love. Seasons began to change and reality began to intertwine with our relationships. I was always a sucker for old guys. After the seasons were over, college began to be the problem. After suffering through the change college brings year after year and relationship after relationship, I was the culprit of leaving last time around. Real world problems defined us both. I was the problem.
Eventually, the love we had couldn’t continue to make me happy. I looked for it in someone else. Then I found you. I knew nothing about you but got the instant giggles when I saw your pictures. I was a little kid again.
We spent the whole weekend together with no sleep that Black Friday and I remember that weekend almost perfectly. The last night, I remember the intimacy I felt with an almost stranger. It was perfect and if we had to live through anything for the rest of our lives, it would be that one moment in time. We grew onto each other fast and soon became comfortable with each other. I chased the intimacy I felt that one late night. The relationship became stable in every aspect. It was the first relationship my family fully approved of and granted my freedom to do anything. It was perfect and I fell for you.
But the past conflicts me. I get easily jealous of your past girlfriend while I’m nothing less than confident about myself. Your friends tell me I’m prettier and treat you much better but I can’t help but feel in competition with her. How do you compete with feelings? It’s impossible.
I’ve spend nights trying to gather all my thoughts to define them but it’s too complicated and undefinable. I don’t want to fall too fast in love because I’m afraid it’ll end too quickly but this slow paced kind love worries me. Maybe I’m scared that you’ll look at our relationship and think of it nothing less than boring. Or maybe I’m the one thats actually worried that I’m not right and I’m stupid for chasing the deep feelings I’ve had for you that one night. I will never be able to understand myself. Is it possible to be satisfied and unsatisfied?
At times I find myself thinking about you, and feel disgusted how I had treated you. Suffocated? I took advantage of one of the only men that has ever treated me right. After all the bullshit and complications we keep running into each others lives. The times where I think your completely gone, that’s when you find a way to come back. I hate it.
A part of me still cares for you. You’re not like my previous relationships where I thought I could just end it and all ties are cut. It’s like cutting you from each others lives would keep me from hurting you even more but at the same time it’d be the easiest solution. I can’t count the number of times we’ve attempted to say our last goodbyes. I’m hardly in the same city anymore and the friends I’ve made are now in a different circle so why do you keep appearing in my life?
I don’t know anymore. I’ve ran out of solutions a long time ago.